


I drag your LU favs

by Dontjudgemyfanfichistory



Category: Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, I drag your favorite characters, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), please don't be mad at me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:53:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23316448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dontjudgemyfanfichistory/pseuds/Dontjudgemyfanfichistory
Summary: I'm going to drag, make fun of, and parody your favorite boys. I will not feel sorry for it.
Relationships: Four & Hyrule & Legend & Sky & Time & Twilight & Warriors & Wild & Wind (Linked Universe)
Comments: 58
Kudos: 105





	1. Wild on Wattpad

**Author's Note:**

> First we start with Wild. 
> 
> Am so sick of Mary Sue Wild so I wrote this.

His name was Link. Or actually it was Wild. Wild was his code name. Yeah, that sounded cool. 

He was Wild. The Link that killed calamity ganon. The Link that finally broke the norm of hats. The Link that had a zelda with personality, and the first link to have *fun.*

There he stood, dressed in *blue.* (Not green. Green is for the other links) With his long golden hair with bright streaks through it cascading down his back. His bright blue orbs gazing off into the sunset as he thought about the world. And how ugly he was. Because unlike everyone else in the group. Wild had scars. 

His white scars arced up his side. Seeming like lightning had carved it's way up to his face. But it didn't matter because it made him *ugly.* And no one liked people with scars. His scars were a reminder that he failed. And he could hardly look in a mirror without breaking down into tears at the thought of his dead friends. 

Twilight saw him gaze off. And laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. Startling Wild because he was so lost in thought. 

"Are you okay?" He said

"No." Wild said. Tears were starting to form on his round, perfectly tanned cheeks.

"Why not." Twilight said.

"Because." Wild said. Tears were flowing freely down his face. "Everyone thinks I'm ugly."

"I don't think that." Twilight said. 

"But everyone else does." Wild said. "It's because I'm different isn't it? Because I have scars, and I wear blue. And I have brighter hair that almost shines. You all think I'm weird."

"That's not true." Twilight said. He wrapped his arms around Wild and gave him a hug. "You've had a hard life Wild. You're gonna be ok." He said.

Once Wild had finished crying. he dried his bright blue eyes and huffed. Twilight said that he was going to leave him and gather firewood. And Twilight left him. Because people always left him. 

You see Wild had amnesia. He barely remembered anything from his past life. But when he did it was always plot relevant and sad. He remembered a girl that loved him. 2 girls actually. And one guy. And maybe another girl. Wild didn't know why he was so popular and well loved. He was obviously not capable of being loved. And that was because of his secrets. 

Yes. Wild had secrets. Deep secrets that he could never tell anyone. If he did the whole Link Group might throw him out.

It had to do with his parents. Yes, *parents.* Both of his parents were different. Wild was part Sheika. His mother was an assassin. And Wild had her sheika blood. He carried the weight of an entire civilization on his back, despite him not even being the last of his kind. 

But one of him many memories he had was of being bullied for being a 'half breed.' Because either Wild only remembered the sad parts. Or his entire life was sad. He remembered being excluded from the reindeer games. And even the other sheika calling him names. 

Then one foggy christmas eve, Wild had planned his escape from the hell hole he called his sheika home. Don't ask him how remembers this. It's called plot. He was only 2 and it was before the royal guards had found him. 

Wild remembered running up into the mountains. And being taken in my an old man. He took care of him and started teaching him to use a sword. he tought Wild everything he needed to know. And in the month that he stayed with the old man in the mountain. Wild as more skilled then any soldier in the king's army. 

Only once his training was complete did the old man reveal himself to be Wild's father. A young man of 2,056 who had ived in the mountain training adventures on their quests. 

Yes, Wild was part God, Part Sheilka

And no one could know. . .

Wild's backstory was interrupted by a cry. 

"Lynell!" Someone said really loudly. 

Wild turned and saw a Lynell attacking everyone. Oh no! Everyone was failing because they had never seen a silver rainbow lynell before! good thing Wild was here. 

He saw Time take one hit and fall down. Legend after that. Nevermind that JoJo said they were the strongest of the links, and that a battle between the Hero of Time and the Hero of Legend was one of the most hotly debated fights in nintendo history. Forget all that because neither of them had sliver rainbow pegesus lynells in there game '*so it would only make sense for them to not know how to fight one, and get hurt right away.*'

Good think Wild was here. He knew what to do.

He drew his giant ultra mega sword. It was giant and had 2 twisting blades. It looked like a double helix, with it's green and blue sides shimmering in the light. He put a finger to his lips and blew really loudly. A horse came galloping out of nowhere. He quickly mounted the horse with ease, even thought he was carrying a sword his size. And rode straight for the Lynell.

"HYAH!" He said. (That's his catch phrase.)

Wild sliced the lynell in half with ease. Leaving the monster dead with no hope of returning.

"Wild!" Someone shouted. It was Legend getting off of the ground. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" He shouted. 

"I-i-i-i-i-i w-was only t-t-t-trying to help." He said. Tears forming in his blue orbs. 

"We had it covered." Legend said. "We didn't need some failure of Hyrule to come save us."

"B-b-b-b-b-but." Wild said. Tears now flowing freely. He turned around and ran into the forest. If he had to kill dark Link alone, he would have to.

\--- 13 years later ---

  
  
  


The now 8 links were sitting together. it had been 13 years since wild had left them. Hylia had come down and given them all immortality so they could think of their actions. They had only realized their mistake of shunning him and being mean to him 3 years after he left. And now Twilight cried every night thinking about what he could have done to keep him here. (He missed Wild)

Suddenly. out of the forest there was a cry heard. And out of the trees burst! A SILVER RAINBOW LYNELL!!! Just the kind of monster that had Wild had killed the last time they saw him. But they all remembered with dread, that Wild was the only one who could kill them. 

Just when all hope had seemed lost! A cry was heard from the forest. A dragon appeared! Carrying a dark stranger on top of it. he was covered in black, from head to toe, and he wore a black trench coat with electric blue lining. 

The mysterious stranger jumped off of the dragon. An electric bowin hand he fired 1 arrow into the lynells mouth. Killing it instantly.

"Who are you?" Legend said. 

"No one you care about." The stranger said. He drew back his hood. Showing a scarred face. It was Wild!! But there were more scars on his face. He was missing his left eye, there were scars lining the entire left side of him as well. he was basically a giant scab at this point. 

"Wild!" Twilight said. He ran forward to give wild a hug but he backed away as soon as Twilight touched him. 

"Don't touch me. because 100 years in the shrine of ressurection left my skin super sensative anmd I can barely whear clothes now. I cry tears of pain whenevre it rains because my scars hurt so bad."

"How did you survive so long?" Said Legend.

"A dragon found me. And decided to raise me because he knew I was part god." Said Wild. 

"Part god?" Legend said. Wild realized his mistake. 

"GET OUT Of HERE! WE DON;T WANT ANY PART GODS AROUND HERE!" He shouted. 

Wild started crying. he turned around and left. leaving his dragon behind

\--- 13 years later ---

It had been 26 years since the group felt whole. Since any of them felt *alive.* It took them so long to realize, that Wild was the *glue.* He was the reason the group had stayed together. he was the one to bring them joy. And without him they had lived a solid 26 years in misery. 

They even felt miserable when fighting this giant hoard of moblins. All of them were surrounded. With no help to spare. they all thought it was there last time alive. 

Suddenly. Just when Legen was about to get hit on the head. A stranger dressed in electric blue clothing jumped in front of him. Taking the blow to the head. 

For some reason that one act of bravery was enough to stop the entire fight. Moblins recognized the danger and power leaking off of the unconcious and dying stranger in blue. Legen knelt down and peeled the hood off of Wild's face. 

Wild!! Wild had just taken a hit for legend. and Now he was dead!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!


	2. Sky is the best uwu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I drag sky for all he's worth

Sky was asleep. He slept a lot. So much that a lot of authors forgot to put him in their fics because he slept so much. 

Why does he need so much sleep? No one knows and no one is willing to find out. Because when he wakes up he's so baby that no one cares. Sky was the purest soul any of the links had ever seen. He was so nice. So nice. 

So here we set the scene, Sky is asleep, and Wild is cooking. (Because that's what they do best.) When suddenly Wild gets a new memory, and his quite crying wakes up Sky.

"W-Whats wrong uwu?" Sky asks. Mouth formed into a pout at seeing his best friend ever cry. 

"Nothing, I'm fine." Wild cried. 

"No, I can see it your eyes, you're very sad and I know that because I know that. Because I just know things like that. because it's me, Sky."

"You're right Sky. You are always right. Something *is* making me sad."

"I knuwu it. And since i am the emotionally open Link here, I am willing to listen."

Sky and Wild talked about Wild's underlying issues until all his problems were solved. All anyone needed to get over all their personal issues was a single conversation with the purest boy in existance. And aAAlll their problems would disappear. 

Sky decided that now he was done with napping for the 7th time that day, he would go see what everyone else was doing. 

He found Wind galloping around in the water. Because that was his entire personality. Water. 

"How are you today Wind? :3" Sky greeted. Wind looked up from where he was splashing. "Sky!" He shouted. "When did you get here?" "I got here just now Wind! How are you?" "I'm good! What about you?" "I'm good as well!"

Their conversation died off as they realized that the author sucked ass at writing small talk. But thankfully the authotr OH GOsh spotify just played a really loud ad. Anyway Sky was going to emotionally comfort Wind because that's all he was good at. 

"Are you okay Wind?" Sky asked. 

"No I'm good." Wind replied. "Why?"

"You look sad. "

"Really?" Wind looked confused. "I think I'm good Sky."

"Are wuo sure?"

"yes?"

Sky didn't believe Wind. He knew that all the Links were sad saft uwu bois on the inside. And nothing Wind could say would stop him. 

"Sky I'm alright." Wind assured him. 

Sky didn't say anything, he swept Wind into a hug. Holding him close. "Sky what are you doing."

"Shhhhhhhhhh, just let it all out." Sky whispered. "Your sorrows are fleeting, but family is forever."

"Thanks? Now can you let me go?"

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

Sky comforted WInd until he let him go, patting him on the head letting him know he was okay, and could always come to sky if he was sad.

Sky pursued the forest until he found other people to comfort. He found Twilight and Warriors arguing. 

"Look Twi, I'm just saying that Legend would win."

"But consider this, Time is a better swordsman."

"But Legend has the magic items!" Warriors defended. "We would totally win in a fight against Time."

Twilight rolled his eyes, a smirk across his face. "You're unbelievable Captain. You met Time, how can you really say that Time wouldn't win?"

Warriors chuckled. "Yeah, no way Legend would win, sorry bud."

Sky's eyes widened at seeing his friends fight. "No stop!" He cried out leaving his point behind the tree. "We're not taring apart the group over this! You need to make up now."

Twilight and Warriors stared at him. "Are you okay Sky?" Twilight asked. "I'm not arguing with cap."

"That's what you say now, but soon you're going to be at each others throats and this group will be at their wits end and." Sky broke down sobbing. "Don't do this to usssssss."

"Look Sky," Warriors fretted. "I'm not mad at the furry. We're just debating, look." He turned to Twilight and embraced him in a tight hug. "We're friend Sky, look."

Sky immediately brightened up. "Oh well then! Glad to know the values of friendship and personality differences."

Sky left the 2 to continue on his merry way. Left alone he was left to his own thoughts. All he could think about was Sun, his Zelda. She was amazing and wonderful. An absolute sweetheart. She loved him so much that it would rot your teeth of you ever saw them together. 

Sun was the best thing in the world, and Sky loved her so much. He would make sure that she had all her needs tended to and always had everything she ever needed. And Sky was always the courteous gentlemen. 

Sky would never do anything mean. Ever. He was always nice to everyone had ever met. He had positive messages on sticky notes attached to the hilt of the master sword that he would read whenever he was having a mental breakdown. He would occasionally crushed with soul ending guilt with the thought that he was the one to start the cycle of the Links. It was good that he never needed to talk about anyone about it, and keeping it bottled was the best method for him.

Because if there was one universal fact about Sky, he could always solve your problems, and never had problems of his own. 

Suddenly out of nowhere, A moblin appeared with a sword in hand. Sky had the air knocked out of him with one string blow to the gut. 

"Don't hurt me OWO!" He shouted out of instinct. 

"Wait hold on." The moblin stopped his club from hitting him again. "Are you baby?" He asked.

"I'm Bapey." Sky wheezed. "UWU." He coughed. 

"Oh my noodles I'm so sorry." The moblin apologized. "I had no idea that you were bapey. I'll leave you alone."

"Thank you." Sky thanked. He watched as the Moblin walked away.

He soon his way back to their campsite. Wild was still cooking because that's all he ever does when he's not the main character of the fic. 

"How was your adventure Sky?"

"It was very fulfilling!" Sky answered. His foot bumped Wild's leg. "Oh my, I'm so sorry."

"It's no problem."

"No. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to, I'm sorry."

"You're good Sky. I didn't even feel it."

Sky felt shame creep through him. he had just bumped Wild, practically stabbing him. He felt hot tears rush to his brown orbs. "Please don't be mad at me, I'm so sorry."

"Sky-"

"I'm just an uwu soft boy Wild i didn't mean to!!" Sky cried.

"Look Sky." Suddenly Sky was swept up into a hug. "You're good buddy. Uwu owo you know? :3 ;3 xD :E_UwU: "

Sky nodded, tears in his eyes. "Uwu owo you know? :3 ;3 xD :E_UwU:"

Wild pulled back, smiling. "Yeah! There you go!"

"I think I'm finally happy now!" Sky said. "Thank you Wild!"

"No problem Sky! Remember to keep on being the uwu soft boy we all know you to be!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who and how should I do next?


	3. Hyrule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you like feral Hyrule, I hope you enjoy what it really looks like.

The links were a happy group of adventurers. Despite all the stranger ones in the group, like Wild, they had a sense of community, family. 

This all changed when they met Hyrule. 

He was a young boy with curly brown hair, always seeming to have sticks in it, and never bathing. See the problem with him wasn't his lack of heroness, or his brown hair. 

It was that he eas *Feral.*

Absolutely feral. 

The first time they stumbled across them, the boy had hissed at them and attacked them on all fours. He was covered in dirt, and bit Four when he tackled him. After being beaten off by a deku stick, he screamed at everyone else and ran away from them. 

Heaven help them they needed to recruit this new link, feral or not.

it had taken some time, and Twilight had numerous cuts across his face from where the boy would swipe at him with nails that never seemed to be cut. So dirty were they that Twilight feared for infection at the first drop of blood that ran down his cheek.

Hissing, snarling, kicking, Warriors and Time had to drag the boy by his feet out of his small dirt hole. He screamed the entire time, fighting back against the 2 most heavily armed links they had. Good think they had armor, because he was fighting back for all he was worth. 

"Well we can't call him Insane now can we?" Legend muttered as he stood before the feral boy, who was currently trying to gnaw his way out of the ropes holding him together. "Hylia the fuck happened to this one?" The boy whipped up at the mention at the goddess and howled. "What the *fuck.*"

They would have to get him new clothes. The ones they found him in barely covered anything. That and a bath. He smelled like he had never taken a bath in something that wasn't a swamp. Legend had to cover his nose when he got to close to him. He almost considered just dumping him in a clean river and letting him thrash around until he shook off all his dirt, but he was unsure if the boy even knew how to swim. 

And the best part? He didn't understand a word of human speech. Any attempts to communicate were hopeless. He had the vocabulary of a baby. Cry when upset, scream when upset, thrash when upset, smile when amused, so so on. It was pathetic.

Seeing as they found him in the land, and the land was called Hyrule. Calling this absolute failure of a human Hyrule was fitting. They eventually found a river, and while he was unconscious, Time tried his best to get him washed without waking him up. That plan failed and he now had 4 new bruises and a black eye where there wasn't even an eye. 

But thankfully it was bath he needed. Because after that, and a week spent around camp. He slowly began to realize what normal hylians were like, and completely ditched all of the habits he had learned since day 1, and acted like a normal human being. Because sometimes authors don't want to explain how things work, and no one takes into account that something like this would take years and years of therapy, training, and mental work to fix this. They just want a 'feral garbage boy' without realizing that feral things aren't even capable of using the bathroom. Honestly it's so weird to me and I can't understand it. But anyway no one want's to read the long boring process of fixing someone who is mental devolved to this degree and turning them into a normal person. They just want feral boy AND sweet angst boy without putting in the work. The beset of both worlds with none of the work and all the paint towards to me! Parodying this because I'm so sick of this trope and want to show you all how gross it is. But now I'm so grossed out by it I'm taking the cheap way out like EVERYONE else and giving him a week max to be a normal person. *Can you tell that I hate this trope yet??*

And seeing that He was now normal, the Group decided they would dub him an official member of the group!

—-

Turns out that underneath all those layers of feral, and absolutely no conscious thought for 16 years, was a crafty mind filled with fun and adventure! Now his favorite past time was hanging out with Legend and Wind, and all memories of him acting like an animal were completely forgotten. If course he'll still revert into feral mode whenever I want him to because of plot convenience. 

But sadly a problem had arose! Only after a month of travelling with the group, Hyrule got lost! He wandered off in the middle of the night, and got lost in the trees. Because despite all the animalistic traits we gave him, a sense of direction was not one of them. 

Legend led the search party for him, witch was basically all of them because why not? Why would anyone not look for him? Anyway, he was found in a cave. 

"What were you thinking? Leaving the group like that?" Legend chastised. 

Hrule pouted. "I got up to put another log on the fire, but I got lost on the way back to my sleeping bag."

Legend stared at him. "You're sleeping bag. . ."

"Yeah! It's true! I got lost and I found a cave! And since it was such a nice cave." He placed a loving hand on it's interior. "I decided to stay here until I found my way back to you guys."

"You've been gone for 4 days."

"I know, I forgot."

—-

Now that that dilemma was out of there way, it was time to forge onward. Legend was getting somewhat stressed about this new addition constantly being problem. But it would all turn out right in the end. Time would glance at him once or twice, eye narrow and promising a fight. Legend wanted him to *bring it on.*

But this fic isn't about Legend and Time is it? Or their fabled fight of legends yore. It was about a character that people have altered so much that he's barely anything like canon anymore. Hyrule. 

They were walking, as they always do, when Hyrule spotted a cave. He hurriedly ran to it, ignoring all the protests from the rest of the group. "I wan' t see what's inside!" he shouted. Upon reaching the opening, he peered inside, shrieking when he saw what lay inside. 

Legend ran to him, fearing the worst. An Iron knuckle? And army of gibdo's ready to freeze them all with the screams of the damned?

A single keese flew down from a stalactite, straight towards Hyrule. He screamed, louder this time, drawing his sword and swatting around it numerous times. 

Legend watched in horrid fascination as the poor excuse of a hero cried as the keese flew around his head. So desperate was he to get it away from him. 

An arrow flew from Legend's bow, hitting the keese head on. It dropped to the ground.

Hyrule dropped to his knees. Tears staining his cheeks. "I was so scared." He cried. "I thought I would die." Legend followed him and embraced him in as hug. 

"You're good Hy' we all get scared sometimes."

"I know," He whimpered. "But I don't think I'm qualified to be a hero now."

_ 'Don't agree with him, don't agree with him, don't agree with him,'  _ The mantra repeated in his head over and over again. Legend said nothing in return, only comforting the sniveling hero as the others came to join him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a trope you hate that's always associated with a certain Link? What is it, I need content. 
> 
> Also feral anyone makes me want to die. Especially when they think feral is cute.


	4. There are too many Time's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I dragged myself in this one. Not time. I apologize for the lack of time dragging.

The group . . . Had a problem. 

They had to much Time on their hands. 

Now not in the way you're thinking. They had very little time to themselves, always on the move, always helping people who needed to be saved, fighting useless monsters for no reason other than an author needed one of the boys to be hurt for their angst fics TM.

The problem was that Time, their fearless leader, had too many. . . *Other versions of himself*. . .

At first it wasn't really a problem. They met a man named Link, who claimed to be Time from a different Timeline split. It made sense, and the group dubbed him Age and moved on. He was a nice addition and no one thought much of it. 

Then they encountered a boy, who Time recognized as his younger self. This version of Time was a brat and almost pathetic. So the called him Mask and moved on with their life. 

They thought it was the end of meeting different versions of Time, they were wrong. 

Stumbling across a Stalfos, Twilight told them it was Time that had died, and aided Twilight in his journeys. And since they couldn't just leave a Link behind, called him the Hero Shade and added him to their ever growing gang.

Once more they found a kid that was recognized to be Time from before he even began his journey. He was the biggest offence to fiction because he was 9, but everyone wrote him like he was 6. And I personally call that a war crime. They had no choice to name him Kokiri, and drag him with them.

Another addition was a tattered teen, who was the version of Time that failed to stop Ganon and doomed Hyrule to fail. After Legend was done being angsty about it, they called him Fallen. And no matter how much he protested to being a part of their group, they forced him to suck it up and follow along.

So now. . . There were 14 Links. And 5 of those Links were Alternate versions of Time. If Hyrule was as good at math as he thought he was, that was almost 50%

See Hyrule had a very neutral stance on the whole thing. Probably the only one apart from Four who was the least unaffected by all the Time's. He thought it was neat personally, but it could get a little tiring, having so many verisons of the same person. 

Now if it had stopped there, it would have been great. But for some fucking reason, the universe (or this caffine forsaken author) just *loooovvvvreeed* Time so much, they couldn't help but have more than 5 versions of their best boy. 

They met a Time where the only difference was his favorite color. 

They met a Time where he liked strawberry jam on his toast instead of eating it raw.

They met a Time where the he had both of his eyes, and his scar was only inches to the side.

They met a Time where his armor was 3 shades off color. 

At this point they stopped trying to come up with original names for them. And began naming them all "Time 1, Time 2, Time 3, Time 4, Ect." The only problem was when someone said "It's time to go!" Time 2 would think that he had to leave, and would run away from camp.

To make things worse, they found other versions of everyone else as well. There were multiple Age's, Mask's, Kokiri's, Hero Shade's, Fallen's, and Time 7? For some reason?? No one knew why he was the one being copied. It was so weird. 

So now going, this was the list of people they had in there group at the moment. 

Age, Mask, Time, Kokiri, Hero Shade, Fallen, Time 1, Time 2, Time 3, Time 4, Time 5, Time 6, Time 7, Time 8, Time 9, Time 10, Time 11 . . . Time 56. Age, Awe, De, ASe, AGe, AgE, Re, Age 0.1, Age 0.2, Age 0.3 . . . Age 0.23, Maks, Fallen 3 (No one know's why they skipped 1 & 2, they just did.), and Donnaven. 

Who was donnaven? Hyrule thinks he was just a random blond dude that they assumed was Time and dragged along. Poor him. 

The only one who was *mildly* interesting was Time 9 who was just Time but he didn't go through what time dubbed 'termina' He was similar to Age but mentally older. He lived in a small cottage and lived his life as a gardener. Hyrule liked to talk to him.

See, maybe Hyrule would have been cool with it, the 70+ of them were. . . .Well enough. But the thing is. . . .

Even though they all had very little differences between them, they all had their own personalities, way of speech, dark sad backstory, and massive amounts of angst potential. It was awful.

So here Hyrule was, waking up in the morning, gazing over the numerous tents of Time. They had an army of okay? People? Hyrule thought of them less as people, and more like clones. Thankfully they had all agreed that the Original Time should wear a long red bandana. He looked almost ridiculous, but Hyrule considered it a necessary evil. 

He found a log, with a random Time sitting on it. Hyrule sat down next to him trying his best to ignore him. Time's were as common as flies at this point. The Time didn't try to talk to him, and Hyrule appreciated this. He glanced at him, he had weird clothing, and held a device in his hand like Wild's Sheika slate. Curiosity took over him and he sighed, ready for a story. 

"So? Where are you from?" He asked.

He looked up, clearly tired. "Kid, I still think I'm dreaming, and I've been here for a week."

"Really? What makes you different."

The Time grimaced. "I'm a college professor, and I think My d&d campaign got out of hand."

"What's D&-" "HEATHEN!" A voice shouted. Hyrule turned to look at what shouted. It was another Time. 

This Time held a sword in his hand, pointing it towards a Time. "This is a demon! Who spends his time playing with the DEVIL!"

The Time Hyrule talked to sighed. "That's Time 7.5, he's a boomer."

"What's a boomer?"

Before he could answer, Time was tackled by Time. "Demon!!" He shouted. "Devilman!"

"H-hEy!" Hyrule tried to stop the fight, but a hand caught him. Hyrule looked behind him and saw Time 9. 

"Don't bother." Time 9 assured him. "They need to hash it out."

Hyrule shook his head, "I think this is all so weird." 

Time 9 nodded. "Agreed. That's why me and the others have decided to branch off and make our own group."

Hyrule looked up at him. "Really? Who are you taking?"

Time 9 shrugged. "There are so many of us that that I haven't met yet I'm not sure. So far it's just me, Age, Donnaven, and maybe that guy. He looks like he needs a break."

"Age and Donnaven are leaving?" 

"Donnaven isn't a Time, and he want's to go home, Age just needs out. I want to go home. I think just 7 of the Time's could kill dark link, they dont need all of us."

Hyrule sighed. "I guess that makes sense. But why do the good ones want to leave?"

Time 9 shrugged. "I don't know. We're just sick and tired of all of this."

"You're planning to escape?" A voice said from behind them. The two turned and saw A teenage Time, and Mask?

"We want in." The 'Mask' said. "We're the Smash Bros."

"Uuuuuuh Hi?" Hyrule greeted. "And you're from?"

"From Smash bros, except I'm from the first version, and Young Link is from the latest game." Teen Time explained. 

Time 9 pushed Hyrule away. "Run Hyrule, people are picking up on us."

"But- but."

"Run!"

Hyrule started running, with Time 9 behind him, trying to stall the Smash Bros from gaining on him. But nothing was working. Time 9 gave up and gave out a war cry. "MY MALON IS THE BEST!" He shouted. 

The entire camp froze, all looking at Time 9. 

And as if they were trying to emulate that one scene from World War Z, they started running.

Hyrule watched in horror as they all rammed into Time 9 and the Smash Bros. There was no consious thought, just ramming with the sake of a fight. Hyrule had no time to try anything, only time to run. 

He ran through a cold spot in the air. It froze him. He looked up and saw a black and white Time floating in the air. "Hey Hy'." He greeted. 

"Oh my gosh you're dead!" Hyrule shouted.

Time stared blankly at Hyrule. "It get's worse. I'm a fuckin music box too. Don't ask why."

"W-why?" 

Ghost time sighed and floated away. Hyrule continued to run away from the ever growing fight behind him.

Hyrule. Hated. This. So. Much. 

Why did there have to be so many Time's? Why? Why was an unnamed author so obsessed with Time that they just couldn't leave him alone and just have a singular Time. 

Hyrule was just so tired. As well as a good chunk of people on my Ao3. I am s o r r y pls be patient with meeeee.

Suddenly, from nowhere, came a new voice. 

"Link!" The Malon's shouted. All of the Time's looked up from where they were they were beating up they were beeting up they were. Malon. Runnign running yeah stuff happens all the malons take their Time's home I don't want to right all this out pls don't make me it's 2 am and I'm trying to balance talking int he dm's with 3 peiple and finding good stuff to listen to while writing this absolute bs of a fic. 

Anyway. . . .

The battle feild was cleared. All that was left was the Mask's who were unmarried, and the few Time's that married Zelda. 

And Donnaven.

Poor Donnaven. 

Time 9 was still there, seeing that he was unmarried. And Hyrule approached him, the other weird Time that talked about d and b? Also came to help. "You good?" He asked the living bruise. 

He responded with a groan. "I just want to go home."

"God same."

A tap on Weird Time's shoulder, he looked up and saw A weirdly dressed Malon. "Hell yeah." She said nothing, but pulled him up and took him home. He got a happy ending. 

\- - - 3 hours later - - - 

Finally. . . All of the Time's were gone. *All* of the times were gone. 

Whether or not they had a Malon take them home, or the decided to leave, they were all gone. Including the OG Time. But personally? If Hyrule had to look at another face that had an eye missing, he might cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was all Me dragging.
> 
> The worst part is that I actually starting getting attached to Time 9, and D&D Time. 
> 
> And Donnaven. 
> 
> Poor Donnaven.


	5. It's Legend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's legend but I hated myself when I wrote this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate myself

"My name. . . Is Legend. And I am saddled with all these other Links." * sigh * "I just don't understand why I am have to be around them all the time. Can't they find something better to do?" I narrated my life under my breath as I stalked around the campsight doing something or other. 

Today I was dressed in a green tunic, with a long hem embroidered with gold and red. It reached to my knees and complimented my dark brown combat boots perfectly. My red hat reached almost to my back and I loved the feeling of it flowing in the wind as I walked throughout my day. The pinks strands in my hair brush my face as I bend over and pick up a stick for the fire. 

I've been with the Link's for about a month. It's been a hard journey dealing with all of them. They are all so bad at their jobs it was almost sad. It was like i was the only one who had more than 2 adventures. So sad that I am the best of the group. I think I am the best here. Pretty sure at least. Wild has a run for my mind because he's the more popular one, but I'm edgier than him and have the whole "I'm hardened and less of a whimp" side to me. I'm so glad that I'm easily the best Link there is. Of course the only reason I'm liked is so people can like a 'misunderstood character' whithout being in the Wild love fan club.

**I AM WRITING THIS IN FIRST PERSON AND NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME**

But enough about Wild. I'm the main character here. 

i noticed twilight approach me from across the camp. "Hey." 

I stand up, brushing my pink strands away from my face as I stare him in the eye. 

"What do you need?" 

"About yesterday." Oh yeah  _ yesterday. _ Yesterday was the whole bunny thing. When I touched Twilight's thingy thing and turned into a pink bunny. I regret the whole thing but at least I got to have fun. I did miss the pink fur though, very cute. 

"What about yesterday?" I ask, very bored and wanting the conversation to end already.

"Well I feel as if I should apologize". 

"Apologize for wat Twilight?" I use his full name so he knows I'm not playing around. 

"For the whole thing you know? I should have let you know before hand. And just let everyone know so it doesn't happen again." 

I roll my eyes. "It's whatever. I don't care about it anymore." 

"You sure?" 

"Did I stutter?"

After that Twilight left me alone and shambled over to Time or whoever. He was always so basic. Just put him with Time and leave him alone to fangirl for a bit. Not that I was a fangirl for TIme. No I hate the hero of time. It gives me more of my edgy personality that people find so appealing. I plan to fight him and win one day. honestly screw that guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2? Maybe? idk i hate this so much I might make another part because i can


	6. Teilighy but its acutalluy abt midna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its 12:05. I've geven up on sleepingaftger not even trying. but the meds should kick in in 15 or so so i'll see what i can do here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mida

Twilight avoided mirrors. 

At first everyone assumed it was for the obvious reason. 

Twilight was thought he was ugly and avoided mirrors right?

right?

Wrong. 

Twilight sighed. The room of the inn he was in had a mirror resting above a water basin for washing your hands. It was most likely purposefully put there by fate to torture him he was sure.

He laid a tunic over it, not able to look at his own reflection. 

Because wherever he went, whatever he did, all he could see, was _her_.

\---

They now traveled through a forest, Intent on getting to the other side, Who's hyrule it was didn't matter because everyone is going to assume Wild's anyway. 

A cry shot up through the forest, catching the attention of all the boys. Heads snapping up so fast you could see winds head actually plop off his body and roll away. Unfortunately for me (the author) i dont have my glasses on so I can ttell the difference between wild and wild so you're going to have to help me keep track of whose heads are on wich bodies. And id=f they ever switch. 

"Wizzrobe!" Time shouted. Somehow knowing exactly what the enemy was. "Grab your weapons!" (novel idea there time i bet none of them thought about that before ytou mentioned it.)

Twilight grabbed his sword, unnerved by the black wizzrobe. 

Unwabted memories came to him mind of another almost black magical individual. One who was his faithful companion and first love, not counting the mayors daughter because no matter how much jojo suggests that might be twi's endgame, her midlink comics speak otherwise. 

Not now! his mind screamed at him. It was not the time to think of her bright red hair, memorizing eyes, the look on her face as she shattered his heart and the mirror, 

for my convenience and for yours, twilight got knocked out by a bolt of magic. Falling to the ground as wind rushed to catch him. 

\---

They were sitting around a campfire. As they always did. THey were regailing eachother with tails of their past, each speaking about their experiences. 

"Is it true?" Wind asked Hyrule, his head tucked under his arm. "That you have 2 zeldas?"

"Yep! We call them dawn and Aurora!" Hyrule Proudly stated. 

"Man how does that even happen." Whispered Sky. "Two zeldas. How do you even tell them apart?"

"Easy!" Exclaimed Hyrule. "Dawn is the great great great granddaughter of Aurora, and Aurora is hot-"

"I'm sorry no. That does not help us at all." Twilight "Physically, how do you tell them apart."

Hyrule Paused. "Welll fine then, I guess you could say that Aurora has bigger-"

"Hyrule!"

"REd hair! Aurora has red hair dawn has brown!" Hyrule shouted. "Geez."

Time seemed to slow around Twilight. And not Time the person, time the concept. 

Red hair? A princess?

It wasnt possible

unless?

no

it couldn't

unless

maybe

no

no it couldnt be

there was no way

but maybe . . . 

\---

Yeah, twilight was wrong, he cried for an hour but was fine after that. 

\---

The battle was fierce, it raged on for hours. 

Was it moblins? no of course not

wizzzrobe? nope

lynels? worse than that. 

Legend and Time had finally decided that today was the day they kick eachothers asses

It was glorious. Thunder reigned from the sky, so did water, and rocks, and. . .. oh shit that was Four. 

All casualties of an awesome fight scene. 

Watching them go at it, swords and magical items aglow, it was impossible for Twilight to tare his eyes away. 

For a second he was able to, he cought a glimpes of a black and light teal creature far away in the distance of the now ruined meadow. 

he gasped! It was impossible. 

He took off runnning, he didn't care if a stray lighting bolt hit him, it didn't matter, none of it mattered when she was right there. 

Halfway there he noticed Warriors. He must be talking to her. trying to keep her there. For him

"Warriors!" He called out. 

Warriors looked away from her, looking him in the eyes. "WTF STOP RUNNING TWILIGHT YOU"RE WEARING CHAINMAIL"

\---

Warriors could not believe the utter idiot Twilight was being. He had been acting strange recently but this was a whole new level. He watched in thinly veiled horror as Twilight bounded across the field in full chain mail, lighting striking either side of him. Even Warriors had had the sense to remove his arm cover, let alone not running across any Hyrule's biggest danger zone. 

"Twilight! You're wearing chainmail! Get away!" He shouted. Twilight acted as if he heard nothing. Warriors faintly heard thim shout the words _'it's for love!'_ before promptly getting struck by lightning. 

"Shit." Warriors swore. He ran as fast as he could to where Twilight lay, collapsed on the field. "Twi! Twilight!" He pleaded. "Are you alive can you hear me?"

Twilight was breathing, that was enough for Warriors as he dragged him unceremoniously of the battlefield and to a safe spot. Doing his best to strip the young man of his chainmail before it caught anymore magically induced lightning. 

"You're an idiot. Really dumb. Super dumb." He chanted as he shook Twilight. "Now wake up. I need to make you're good. Wake up!"

 _"Midna."_ Twilight whispered, it was barely audible but Warriors was lucky enough to hear it. 

"Who the-"

 _"midna is here"_ Twilight whispered again.

"Midna?" Warriors asked again. "Who is she?"

Twilight smiled blearily, his eyes not open. At least he was semi conscious. "The love of my life." he murmured. 

Warriors sparred a glance to the Bio-Luminescent Cow he had been standing next to because he thought it looked cool. "Twilight what the fuck."

it was too late for anymore questions, because now Twilight was sound asleep.

\---

"So I heard Twilight compared his ex to a glowing cow last night huh?" Legend asked. 

Warriors nodded his head. "He did."

"Harsh."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it took three days and now I'm finishing this at 250 am and my chromebook battary is dying have fun

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer, this whole fic is a joke. I love jojo, I love all the boys.


End file.
